Friday, April 1, 2011

The art of dating my ex-husband

My mother is inquisitive by nature, which means she's nosy but I'm being polite and phrasing it softly. Whenever there is even the teensiest strand of something secretive she is all over it like a hungry dog on a rotting carcass. This means if I have something at all personal I don't even let myself form it into words in my head lest it somehow leak out into the universe and she might smell the vulnerability of my soul.

Lately I have something of a golden nugget in terms of juiciness that she keeps trying to get her teeth into and the fun of keeping her out tickles me to no end. She very much wants to know just what it is I'm doing with my ex-husband. Her latest attempt went something like this:

Her: So, you know when I'm out and about this weekend people will likely ask questions about your D Status.

(This is because we have friends coming into town and she is seeing them all at a party Saturday night. A party I won't be attending because I'm going to a concert with the above mentioned man.)

Me: D Status? What's that? Death? I'm alive. Divorce? Been there for about 8 years now. Dusty? Well,, I'm not exactly shiny...

Her: Dating. Duh.

Me: Oh, yes. That doesn't seem like a very interesting topic. I'm practically middle aged and really not all that glamorous. By the way, is Peg still dating that one guy? I haven't seen them together lately.

Her: I'm not sure. You know he doesn't hear so well in crowded situations.

Me: Too bad. They seem like a great pair.

Her: Yes, well. But back to you. What shall I tell people?

Me: Tell them whatever you like. I just don't think there's really anything of interest there.

Her: ........

Here's the thing, Matt and I have been married, divorced, had a post-divorce child, separated and now are giving it another go. Is Elizabeth Taylor the only one who gets a stab at this sort of Jerry Springer move? I think freaking not. Further more, this time around I see no reason to discuss it with anybody other than our children. I suspect there are those who might have a comment or two regarding our reunion, but frankly I just don't give a rat's ass anymore. Life is short and depending on what you believe there is but one go around at it.


  1. My mother was really good about knowing when I had something personal I didn't want to talk about. It made it nearly impossible to keep anything a secret.

  2. It's a fine line between sharing and revealing. But it keeps a person on her toes. At least I like to fancy the experience has left me a more clever person....