Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Bitch on wheels

I can roll with a lot of things, things like chaos, noise, kids and the like, but something I can not abide by is ignoring safety. Perhaps it was growing up with a defense lawyer for a father who freely told us the horror stories of what happens to careless people. Paralysis, decapitation, drownings, fires, you name it and he had taken a case to trial over somebody’s lack of good judgment. One might argue for an already sensitive child these tales were a bit over the top, but in terms of rearing a cautious child who is still alive today I think he did a decent job.

There is a middle aged fellow who occasionally drives his SUV up our country road in the late afternoons to run his dog. When I say run I don’t mean man and dog get out of the vehicle together and trot up the road. Nay, this guy sits in his late model Range Rover and drives while his German shepherd tries to keep up with him. There is nothing physically wrong with the guy, I’ve seen him let the dog out at the beginning of the walks and dude has a spring in his step. Our county road is about two miles long and once this man reaches the end he turns around and the dog trails after him, panting and looking like he wishes he didn’t have that dog/master relationship that dictates he MUST follow the car.

Every time I see this guy I get so enraged about his carelessness with his dog. If you want to let your do run behind your car in the driveway? I say it might be a bit sketchy but as long as your toddler isn’t also in the drive you’re probably ok. But to make a dog run without any stops at a fast clip for four miles? I say no. It’s inhumane and insulting to this beautiful animal. Also, when it’s winter, the roads are icy and a herd of deer are bounding across the road it is dangerous for other drivers as well. I witnessed this exact scenario last winter. It was later in the day, the road was icy and the deer were leaping the fence to cross. Of course, dumbass in the white Range Rover didn’t slow down but actually sped up, perhaps hoping his dog would be too focused on him to notice the deer. No. The dog started chasing the deer in front of other cars, the deer went ape shit and several animals nearly got hit.

This is where I finally got fed up. Once the deer all cleared up I drove up next to the guy, rolled down my window and attempted to explain to him that he was an asshole. Fuckhead ignored me so I started beeping and giving him the universal finger that states loud and clear “You suck, fucker!” He still ignored me and continued to drive. Ever since this incident I freely flip the man off, I believe it is my given right to do so since he repeatedly abuses his dog and refuses to acknowledge that he is a fool.

Yesterday was a long one and as I drove into town to attend a dentist appointment, there the asshat was running his dog up the road. Without thinking I rolled down my window and gracefully extended my arm all the way to my middle finger as I passed him by. I have to say it was the best part of my day and liberating in a way I haven’t felt for quite awhile. I would like to know if he gets it or if he just wonders why some crazy woman in a blue bug habitually flips him off when all he is trying to do is get his dog some fresh air.


  1. Lazy bastard, make him feel uncomfortable enough to not come up your road anymore. It sucks that he makes the dog suck his dust and Carbon monoxide. Stand tall with your bitch'n self!

  2. Now this is when I try to find out from the local humane society if this is considered an abuse case and if they can investigate. Flipping him off until they kick his ass, of course.

  3. Right on. I'll continue to fly the bird with pride at this ass. I'll also call the local shelter to check on the policy of what qualifies as abuse.

  4. I would have probably reacted the same way....only...I would have run away really fast. Not from the dude...from the dog. A German Shepard pulled me off my bike once as a kid. So, I have a complex. With German Shepards.

    www.booshy.com (that's me!)