Thursday, April 7, 2011

These small hours

As a baby, and well into childhood, Cassidy worshiped Loren with every fiber of her being. In the beginning she would sit in her car seat or perched on a baby blanket watching his every move with her dark intense eyes. One time when she she was particularly entranced with his activities she rocked her car seat to the point of tipping it over and clawing her way out so she could have a better view. At nine months she pulled herself up and started walking, I believe, simply to keep up with him.

Loren and Cass are nearly four years apart, a difference that lent him an aura of mystique and fascination for her but gave him an edge on her overly ambitious small self. It lasted until Lo hit high school and then he was off, gone in his own world and leaving Cass behind. Loren doesn't do anything in increments, he's either totally interested in something or absolutely not at all. As he entered puberty his social life reigned supreme and his little sister was no longer even on the radar.

Last night was a rare one, Devon was at Matt's for the night and I had the older kids all to myself. It was a fabulous arrangement since Devon knows his dad will only be here for a few more days before again heading out to Utah and he wants only to be with his father right now.

Loren, Cass and I chose a dinner we knew we would all eat, picked out a movie and went home. Loren had received a bunch of new camera toys in the mail yesterday and he opened them while Cass hung out with me and I cooked dinner. The three of us then sat on the kitchen island and ate food as it came out of the oven. Later we all snuggled into my bed and watched Due Date. We laughed, joked, talked about life pre-Devon, discussed the upcoming busy weeks and just relaxed.

I love it when I have all my chicks in one nest but I also love these quiet times when I can focus on Loren and Cassidy. Lo will be graduating high school in seven weeks. At the end of June he will turn 18. He's chosen to take at least one year off before pursuing film school, but is still unsure of what next year will bring in terms of concrete plans. Right now I feel what we have is a known, the unknown will soon arrive. These small moments are beyond precious for me and I am so grateful.


  1. Sigh. And that is why I am trying to get off the road. This year has been very difficult, Ticah is moving into that neverbefore seen "Lo-mode". But still loves being at home. But Saffy is being stuck with me more and more. I miss my girls, I like the road but the girls have my heart.

  2. Crying, for so many many reasons.

  3. Z- It's a rough road ahead but Ticah has a super good head on her shoulders. I think she'll make ti through with grace. Then someday whe'll be the Mayor of Carbondale.
    J- Huge hugs to you. :)

  4. Those sound like such fabulous moments. I ache to imagine my oldest reaching the stage of graduating. Sniffety, sniff, sniff.